I do feel these overwhelming urges to cry
to bawl my eyes out and weep right into the deep recesses of my pillow
to let my raw unadulterated emotions erupt through the anguish in my sobs and the downpour of my tears
They come in waves
as rhythmic as the pulsing of a heart
as conflicted as my own
They come unexpectedly
when I'm thinking about anything or nothing at all
They can be as strong as a typhoon
a brief onslaught followed quickly by heavy rains and floods
or weak like frothy seawater caressing the shoreline
But most of the time, I suppress these urges
Not because I can but because I must
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